Wow.

I'm surprised I bothered to make another post. It's been 5 bloody months since my last entry, reason being my inability to convey my thoughts in words anymore. Rather than blabbering incoherent rantings, I decided to stop totally. Now I'm back here trying my darndest to write in grammatically correct sentences, which is no longer an easy task for me.

Let's see... What happened after my birthday in September last year?

4 Nov - ORD
Somewhere between 11 to 15 Nov - Started work at this shit place i shan't be bothered to mention
Somewhere between 1 to 5 Dec - Quit that damned job

Basically, it was full-time rotting from then until the start of this year, when I started work at another place. Though not as shitty as that shit job (I apologise for the limited vocab), it was still pretty sucky. I left after a month, slacked for CNY, and now I'm back to work. My current job is by far the most entertaining amongst the 3. Dealing with mortgages and loans is far better than getting yelled at by nasty customers or doing mindless admin jobs like scanning shit documents.

It wasn't easy living the past few months after ORD. Civilian conversion course didn't really work out. Coming home no longer feels the same as before. I talk less and am pretty much anti-social. I stay in office during lunch break, and when I do feel like eating something, I wander alone. It's not that I have no lunch buddy. I just don't like the feeling of meeting new people. Sometimes I feel I don't even know myself. I know I wasn't like this previously. I was the friendly optimist, save for the constant frowning. It's hard to bounce back after hitting rock bottom for an extended period of time. Honestly, there are so many things bothering me that I don't know the main culprit for my afflictions.

Life sucks but I'm sucking it up. Pun not intended.

Time seems to fly when you decide to abandon your rant-on-your-blog-everyday campaign. It probably was my nonchalance towards my current situation that has propelled me through time, and now, there's only a month left to my ORD.

I realised how lousy a friend I am after my 20th birthday a few days ago. Throughout the entire year, I've sent birthday greetings to barely five friends, partly because I didn't really take note of their birthdays in that great detail. What surprised me was that on my own birthday, I've received sms-es and friendster comments wishing me well for my birthday from many people, several of whom I've not been in contact with for quite some time. To tell the truth, I felt pretty honoured that people still took note of my birthday, even though it was something I thought I wouldn't care about.

So, I would like to apologise to those whose birthdays I didn't remember, and I assure you that you'll definitely receive my blessings in one form or another in the years to come.

Kiasu-ism isn't new in our country, and it is blatant whenever public transports are involved. You might have experienced a time when you had a heck of a time trying desperately to alight from the train due to the hordes of people standing right in front of the train door. Downright inconsiderate idiots.

In the past, all I did was simply let them pass while i try to squeeze through them. I think it happened to me too much that I had decided to abandon the courtesy campaign (on my part) and make a new move.

I was at Jurong East Interchange the other day, and I finally got to try out what I had longed to do. As usual, I was inside the train waiting for the door to open, and on the other side of the door, a huge group of people had already begun their rush-for-the-seats competition. They were standing so near the door that it was simply impossible for commuters to alight. I wasn't in the best of moods that day, so when the train door finally opened, I practically bulldozed my way through, intentionally elbowing two aunties who were nearest the door. What I found hilarious was that they didn't even bother to comment or look at me, presumably still adamant on getting a seat. I think they got so used to the jostling that they didn't seem to mind anymore.

National service is so unsafe. You'll never know when you might just give your life for your country, literally.

It happened to the commandos. Yesterday, it was the air force's turn. I wonder if the Navy will be next.

Someone whom I haven't seen or spoken to for 2 years suddenly sent me an IM on msn.

"Hey do you have any spare cash? Can lend me $500?"

I thought she was kidding initially, thinking it was her idea of striking up a conversation, so I replied with:

?!?!?!?!?

And she started to explain her cause. I didn't think she was telling me the whole truth, yet I decided to lend her. Maybe she looks harmless and wouldn't hurt a fly. Maybe I am superficial and judge a book by its cover. Hopefully, she'd return the money some day, after which i can tell myself it is alright to relate a person's character with his looks. Otherwise, even if you looked like angelina jolie, I'd say I have none to lend, and then in turn ask you to spare me some cash instead.